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Monday, December 10, 2012

Repression - The Luxury of Not Remembering

Repression is a term invented by Sigmund Freud to describe the situation when someone is unable to remember an event because it was too painful. Typically, we see examples of repression after a war or similar catastrophe and it is one of the ways that the mind uses to lighten the burden of painful memories.

It takes place to protect the conscious part of the mind, and is a deliberate act carried out by the unconscious part of the mind. Everyone is potentially subject to repression. It has nothing to do with being strong or weak, male or female.

The human mind is divided into two parts; the conscious part and the unconscious part. The conscious mind we are all familiar with; it is the part that we think is really us. The unconscious part is where we delegate all our routine tasks such as tying shoelaces, driving a car or riding a bicycle.

The unconscious mind therefore does lots of things that are designed to help us. In doing so, it often makes decisions on our behalf and even puts them into practice without our knowledge.

One of the things that it does automatically is to look at our memories and experiences and decide if they are traumatic. If they are too traumatic, the unconscious mind will not allow us to remember them. It is like having the Board of Film Censors in the mind, giving a certificate to each memory. If the memory has an "X" certificate, the person will not be allowed to watch it.

What we must take into account is that this censoring may have taken place when we were at a very young age, and what we think was traumatic at five, may seem very tame when we are twenty five. Nevertheless, the unconscious mind will still not allow us to remember. Once it has given a certificate to the memory, it will not (or is very reluctant) to change it.

The unconscious mind does not carry out repression just for the sake of it. It does so in order that the conscious mind can have some peace. If lots of unpleasant or traumatic memories were constantly available to the conscious mind, the results may be unbearable. The unconscious mind does it to help, and protect the conscious mind.

The problem is that even though the conscious mind is not aware of these memories, the unconscious mind is always aware. These traumas result in changes in behaviour to try to compensate or further protect the person, and the changes in behaviour can sometimes appear to be irrational.

It would not be unusual to have strange, apparently unconnected thoughts due to repression. In addition, there may be compulsions, obsessions, phobias or even anxiety. The person is left confused because there appears to be no reason for these feelings.

An example of repression in action could be the following. A boy at the age of three, experiences a difficult flight whilst going on holiday. His unconscious mind represses the experience but he gradually develops a fear of flying over the next few years.

Another example might be the following. When a girl was two years old, her mother had to go into hospital for three months. The need for the hospital stay was not explained to her (because she was only two years old) and as a result, she believed that her mother had abandoned her. In trying to work out why her mother abandoned her, the unconscious mind reasoned that it was because she was not a nice person. For the rest of her life she feels low self esteem, fears rejection and has feelings of inadequacy. She cannot remember the events because they are repressed but the effects live with her every day.

In many cases the question must be asked, "Why bother dragging up old memories?" The simple answer is that if the person does not have unwanted behaviour or has peace of mind at present, then there is little to be gained. If, however, the person does not have peace of mind, digging into the mind to find the cause is very worthwhile.

Often, uncovering regressed memories requires professional assistance (always check the professional qualifications) but this is not always the case. In some cases all that is needed is to adopt a state of mind which demonstrates to the unconscious mind that the person is now strong enough and wants to know about past events. This will encourage the unconscious mind to release them. It will release a little at a time, and see if the conscious mind "freaks out". If it does it will remove the memories to a safe place again. If the person receives them without a problem, it will release more and more until all of the memories are fully available.

Releasing memories should not be a frightening or painful experience. Usually the memories are far less frightening than expected. Things that were traumatic to a five year old are rarely traumatic to a mature and sensible adult. The peace of mind, the clarity of thinking and the rational behaviour that results from a "clean out" make it well worth the effort.

For more information visit the website http://www.san-luis-clinic.co.uk.

Repression - The Luxury of Not Remembering Repression - The Luxury of Not Remembering Repression - The Luxury of Not Remembering

Brighten Up Your Nursery With The Little Castle Glider

The Little Castle Glider range is a well known name among all new parents, for not only has the company been producing the finest hand crafted chairs since 1999, it also offers you a variety of options unlike any other upholstery company. The Glider Rocking Chair variety is best known for its exquisite fabric choices, not only can you choose the texture and patterns of the fabric you want your chair to be upholstered in, you can even provide your own fabric according to your designing desire. Each chair is made by hand by extremely skilled craftsmen who pay attention to the littlest detail to ensure you get the best. The Little Castle Glider range is the most popular among parents, for these comfortable and practical Glider Rocking Chair options provide you with the luxury of gently rocking your infant or even your toddler to sleep without having to put up with the hard back or creaking motion of a typical rocking chair.

Little Castle has been producing a vast range of Little Castle Glider options, not only in varying designs but also to suit your varying needs. Every Glider Rocking Chair comes with a different mechanism; swiveling or reclining. The best quality fabric and upholstery and the sturdiest springs all ensure that your glider will not sag or lose its spring after a while. While the cottage glider is the main Little Castle Glider with a simple regal look consisting of pleating and piping, if you want to go for something a bit more fancy and up to date, the latest Transition and Edge Gliders come with the tendency to be completely refreshed in design every few months. These Glider Rocking Chair options come with extra cushion covers and front panel covers, all in patterns personally picked by you, to be changed at will whenever you want to add or remove color from your room. This means that you don't have to replace your Little Castle Glider every time you refurnish the room or change its color tone, you can simply add or remove covers according to choice. What is more, the Glider Rocking Chair is not only safe for your baby with its lack of sharp edges or wooden back, it also has a very smooth rocking mechanism that will save your baby from any unwanted jolts or bumps when falling asleep.

Keeping your needs in mind, Little Castle Glider chairs are all designed to support your body in the best and most relaxing way possible. The stuffing is not only soft but also long lasting, the sag-less springs are placed close together to offer you relaxation, while base consists of a steel tubular ring to make sure the chair has the best stability and even swivels easily when required. Whether you have a newborn infant or a toddler who crawls, the Glider Rocking Chair is the best option for you when it comes to ensuring maximum comfort for your child and yourself.

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Choosing the Proper Finch Aviary Can Make All the Difference

When you embark on the journey to raise finches, you start by first purchasing a couple of the little birds and placing them in special finch cages. Later on when you have expanded your number of birds, or when you decide you are prepared to breed the birds you will want to look at finch aviaries to find the proper size and style to fit your needs, and the needs of your birds.

The finches aviary must be large enough that all the birds housed in it can stretch their wings, and fly just a little. These birds are very active, jumping, and stretching their wings often during the course of a day. If the aviary you construct for them is inadequately sized then the birds will become depressed. A depressed bird can quickly seem to become sicker, not eating, or grooming itself, much like a depressed person. So make certain that your aviary provides space to move about.

When you place the perches inside the finch bird house make sure you do so where they have to fly, or jump a little to get to the next one. Do not have their resting perches so close together that they can step off of one and onto another.

There are some basic numbers you can consider when you are getting ready to buy or build a new cage to house your pets. For every pair of birds you have, provide three to four feet of space for them to move around in. The height of the birds cages does not seem to matter as much as the room you provide each bird for their own personal use. Mainly this is because the little birds tend to fly more horizontally than they do vertically.

If you have a cage designed to be six feet in length, two foot in depth, and three feet in height, you will be able to house three to four pairs of birds in this aviary space.

When you are choosing the cage for these birds you always want to avoid buying cages that are ornate, extremely decorative, or have a convoluted design to them. Steer clear of the cages that have multiple crevices in them, or that have hard to reach places inside that will make cleaning difficult. Do not buy the really tall cylindrical cages for these birds, they will not be happy in this type of enclosure. You do not want cages constructed from copper, or bronze, or other metals that have a tendency to become corroded, or toxic to the birds. Make certain that the spacing between the bars is adequate to allow for the birds safety. You do not want them getting their toes entrapped between the bars. Any cage that has paint that is peeling, or decorative items that are toxic, can make your birds sick. Some woods are treated with varnishes or polishes that can be harmful to your pets.

To have birds that are happy and healthy you have to pay a little attention to the size and shape of the aviary you provide for the bird to live in.

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Funeral Webcasting Connects Families Across the Miles

From elderly, immobile relatives to brothers and sisters serving overseas, funeral webcasting provides a much-needed and unique experience for the bereaved. Hosting an online funeral gives your client families the ability to be at a funeral service, even when it's not physically possible to be there in person.

The loss of a loved one or friend is a difficult and stressful time. A funeral service allows the mourner a sense of closure and it enables them to honor and celebrate the deceased's life. It is a special and sacred event for all survivors. Unfortunately, many bereaved are not able to attend a funeral or memorial service due to work related or health issues, the sheer distance from the funeral service, military service overseas, or the high cost of travel.

Funeral webcasting has enabled many people to participate in services that in bygone ages, they would have had to miss. With a few simple pieces of equipment - a tripod, wireless microphone, USB video capture device, an HD camera and funeral webcasting software, your funeral home can offer this value added service to your client families.

Webcasting capabilities include both live and delayed streaming. If a family member or friend is unable to watch the online funeral at the exact time of the service, he or she can choose to watch it at a time and place that's convenient for them. The online funeral will be password protected so it's not an event open to the public, but invited guests have the ability see the other guests, listen to the entire service and say their good-byes to their loved one.

As a funeral professional, your job is ever-growing and demanding. Learning and using new technology can be frustrating; however, funeral webcasting software companies can provide help twenty-four hours a day from set up, to launching the webcast itself and even saving and burning the recorded service to a DVD. This exceptional technical service can assistant you no matter what level of computer, internet and video equipment knowledge you may have. You never need to feel alone or nervous when you are about to launch a webcast.

The funeral webcasting company takes care of all the details and has set everything up through a global distribution network that can broadcast around the world, with simultaneous streaming to over thirty different servers worldwide. These high quality video streaming servers guarantee a trouble-free and completely reliable webcast. Other features of the webcasting software include video editing capabilities and inclusion of DVD video tribute software to create video tributes, in-house, all in one easy to use package -- making this type of funeral software the most robust and complete technology available today.

There's absolutely nothing to lose and everything to gain by adding funeral webcasting to your menu of services. In order to stay at the forefront of the funeral industry and provide exceptional funeral products and services to your client families, be ready to offer funeral webcasting services that will undoubtedly elevate your funeral home's reputation.

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How to Renounce Executors Duties

There are many reasons why you may wish to renounce your executorship. Perhaps you no longer live in the same area as the deceased, making it difficult to carry out duties. Maybe you simply don't feel comfortable acting because of the legal responsibility, or you don't feel you can commit the time.

It can be difficult for executors to come to terms with relinquishing their duties because they feel they are letting their loved ones down. It is common to feel obligated and even pressured.

When there is no will, administrators are automatically determined by the laws of intestacy, rather than selected by the deceased. The next of kin can feel this duty has been thrust upon them and that they may not be the best person for the job.

If you are unwilling or unable to act, it is important to voice your concerns. Being an executor or administrator is a serious undertaking, which should not be entered into lightly. If you make any mistakes, you can be held personally liable.

There are 3 courses of action you can take.

1. Formally renounce your position with a Deed of Renunciation

Also known as renouncing the right to probate. This is only a viable option if you have not yet gotten involved with the deceased affairs. It is important to understand that this course of action means you will lose all control of the deceased's affairs. You are stating that you do not wish to be involved in the probate process and cannot later change your mind. These rights pass to the other executors (if any, to other beneficiaries or the deceased's next closest relative. You can do this independently or through a professional. Online services are available too.

2. Obtain power reserved

You can only do this if you were named in a will, rather than appointed as a representative in accordance with intestacy law. This is formalised through a document called 'notice to a non-proving executor,' or Form PA25. By signing the form you are stating that you wish to reserve the right to act as executor in the future, if necessary. When you apply for probate, the form is simply included in with the application. Therefore once again, this is not an option if you have already 'intermeddled' in the estate.

3. Seek help from a professional

If time or practicalities are your primary reasons for being unable to fulfil your executors duties, you could employ a professional handle probate on your behalf. This way you can retain control, but a probate practitioner will carry out all the necessary paperwork and even attend the interview at the registry. Once probate has been granted, they will administer the estate; collect in monies, pay what's owed and contact all relevant institutions and service providers. Monies will be taken from the estate and there's no need to pay anything in advance. This is the only course of action available if you have already obtained a grant of probate, or have acted on behalf of the deceased.

Losing a Loved One - A Free Bereavement Guide

Losing a loved one - A free bereavement guide

What you need to know

Dealing with death is invariably very difficult and stressful. Decisions however have to be made whilst grieving for the loss of a loved one.

It is helpful to know exactly what to do and what to look out for to ensure that everything is done properly and in a timely manner. The need to act correctly is more important if you are an executor under a will because the beneficiaries will expect you to act quickly, efficiently and with lawful authority. The following checklist aims to assist in these situations.

Check for funeral instructions

Check the deceased's will if there is one. Does it contain guidance about the deceased's wishes? If the will is silent about the disposal of the body, find out if the deceased left written instructions. Such guidance, whilst not legally binding, can be used to honour the person's wishes and will help to avoid problems. The deceased may have belonged to a known faith, in which case it may be appropriate to contact their faith representative to help arrange the funeral. Some faiths require the funeral to take place very quickly in accordance with belief and tradition.

Are you qualified to register the death?

Only "qualified informants" can register the death.

When the death occurred inside a house or public building such as a hospital the following people may register the death:

A relative Someone present at the death The occupier of the house or an official from the public building where the death occurs The person causing the disposal of the body Where the death happens elsewhere the following may register the death A relative Someone present at the death The person who found the body The person causing the disposal of the body

Find out if the Coroner needs to be involved

The Coroner will investigate the death if the cause is unclear, the death appears sudden or violent, or if it happened under suspicious circumstances. There may have to be a post mortem or inquest or both. If the death needs to be investigated then an Order for Burial or Coroner's Certificate for Cremation must be issued before the funeral can be held. In this event you can apply to the Registrar for an interim death certificate to enable the practical estate administration to proceed.

Registering a death in England & Wales

If the person died in England & Wales, an appointment to register the death with the Registrar must be made within 5 days, unless it has been reported to the Coroner. The Registrar will need the medical certificate stating the cause of death prepared by the certifying Doctor. The certificate will be in a sealed envelope which should only be opened by the Registrar. You will also need the following information about the deceased:

Their full name and time of death Any names previously used Their usual last address Their date and place of birth Their occupation The full name, date of birth and occupation of a surviving spouse or civil partner The date and place of death Whether the deceased had a state pension or any other allowance from the public funds

Do check that the Registrar has recorded all the details correctly before you sign the Register. The Registrar will issue a Death Certificate, a Certificate of Registration that you will need if the deceased received a state pension or benefits and a Certificate for Burial or Cremation. Work out ahead the number of certified copies of the death certificate you are likely to need so you ask for them at the time. Some agencies will not accept photocopies as proof of the death. The fee for each copy is presently £3.50 and cost more if requested later.

Arranging the funeral

Go and see the Funeral Director. Don't be afraid to shop around to get the best deal. Check if the deceased had a pre paid funeral scheme or other funds to meet the cost of the funeral. Some banks may release funds from the deceased's account to executors named in a will to pay for the funeral. Families on low income who receive qualifying benefits may be eligible for Social Fund funeral payment. The person who organises the funeral will sign a contract with the Funeral Director and shall be legally responsible to settle the cost. Be clear with the Funeral Director about the services they provide. Does the fee include booking a "slot" with the relevant church or crematorium? Will they order the flowers?

And finally, don't forget other practical issues There are many people, organisations, and Government bodies who should be told about the death. The following practical issues must be addressed:

The Death Certificate should be sent to any bank or financial institution with which the deceased held assets. Contact any creditors to ascertain the liabilities of the estate. Consider contacting the utility companies and if possible obtain up to date meter readings. This will be helpful later in the administration. Consider issuing a formal notice to creditors to protect the personal representatives of the estate against possible claims against them for unpaid debts. Send the Certificate of Registration to the Department of Work and Pensions. See if you can find an address book and contact people who knew the deceased. If the deceased was a member of a club or subscribed to periodicals, inform them about the death to avoid unwelcome literature in the future. If the deceased died in hospital or care home go there to collect their personal effects. If the deceased had a house or flat make sure that it is secured. Check the deceased had home insurance which provides cover when the property is empty. Did the deceased have pets? Do they need looking after? If the deceased died in a care home check whether there is a time limit within which the room must be cleared. Decide how to notify the beneficiaries about their entitlement. It is usually the job of the executors to make public the contents of the will.

If you are an executor, locate the whereabouts of the deceased's will. Consider using a professional like a solicitor to handle the administration, particularly when you have limited time to undertake the task or existing tensions within the family that may make the job difficult. Acting as an executor can be like drinking from a poison chalice!